I am alone here in my own mind.
There is no map
and there is no road.

~~~~

guess what, for one whole month i've got nothing to do but study study study.

by the way, i've got another job, cool eh?

nur du liebst dich...

sorry, i'm kinda low today.. see, i worked really hard for this to work out, and i've desperately tried to patch things up... guess what? i've failed again.

it's so hard, coz its just not him and me... i fell in love with his family as well.

but i wont let him break me this time. genug davon


i'm single again, but then, i'm still (w)hole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


So scream you, out from behind the bitter ache
Heavy on the memory, you need most
still want love, ugly, smooth and delicate
not without affection, not alone

And instead of wishing that it would all get better
man you're seeing that you just get angrier

And it's good that I'm not angry
I just need to get over,
I'm not angry, anymore

Cry when you cry, run when you run
love when you love
represent the ashes
that you leave behind

how could you..



where are you now?

ron, don't hurt anymore.. enough of that.

i'll miss you

I'm waiting for him right now..
he's having this job interview and i'm here to somehow support him.
After the fight last night.
here we go again.

Cross your fingers, he badly needs this right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i've got the sweetest nephew.


Love my Riel.

looks like im going to her concert alone. (yes!! i am a fan.. see what homesickness does to a hibernating bear like me). but im sure dad will accompany me.... yes, another fan.

ok. allow me to be mushy again for a moment...




Every room you flooded with sun
Every frustration you turned around

Nordic noble
Your gentle goodness
Your untamed pride
Life isn't fair

Danced the movie
In a silver room
From a golden balcony
We stood in awe of eternity

Helplessly sunken, drunken
And everything was allowed
Together in time-lapse
Midsummer-Night's Dream

Your confident stride
Your true poetry
Your serene dignity
Your unshakeable grace

Your destiny
You defied
You never betrayed
Your plan for happiness

I'm not leaving here
I've extended my stay
New time travel
Open world

I have you safe
Inside my soul
I'll carry you with me
Until the curtain falls
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

another day.. another diet. hwek hwek hwek!

What Might Have Been

Somewhere, lost in the wind
I'm watching you
Sunlight touching your hair
And I remember
Somehow, we said that we would never stray
But somehow we lost our way
Promises too often spoken
Are easily broken apart

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

Trace of forever lingering
Drawing me closer to you
A new beginning
Now I know
There is no doubt I understand
Just how fragile love can be
I can't forget
Your mem'ry found me
Now I know where I belong

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be a fool wondering
What might have been
Through every day, into the night
With only love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know
What might have been
Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide

I want you to know
My heart will show that I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been
I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares
When we've got love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been
I'm wondering what might have been
We're gonna find what might have been
Oh I wanna know what might have been.

~What might have been

another day. same problems.

time for me to move on.

again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

angel.

brew. that was me before.

had to change it because of ehem.

miss the old days

awakend by a question.
this silent hurt will never last long.

i'm finally breathing again.
so relieved.